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Remember, you are not fully clothed until you're wearing a smile. So let's smile a bit.
A television weatherman is an expert who will know tomorrow why his weather predictions yesterday did not happen today.
Lawyer: How has your brain injury affected your daily life?
Witness: I forget.
Lawyer: Can you give me an example of something you forgot?
Witness: No. I forgot it already.
Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Julie?"
Lawyer: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Barbara.
Have you ever wondered why...
...there are handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink?
...people leave expensive automobiles in the driveway and fill their garage with useless junk?
...hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns comes 8 to a package?
...banks leave their money vaults open and chain ink pens to the counter?
Four men were discussing advancement in medicine. The man from Japan said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is out looking for work."
The Englishman said, "That's nothing. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him out looking for work in just 3 weeks."
The Irishman said, "Well, we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks."
The American laughed and said, "We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is out lookin' for work!"
STRESSED spelled backward is DESSERTS. Do you think that's why eating chocolate helps reduce your stress?
S - M - I - L - E
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